Lesson Learned

Okay... so my time in Kenya has come to an end. Mayan and I are spending our last 24 hours in Kenya, then 3 days in Amsterdam, then home to you :) Today, my main goal was to post once more before I head out of the country. I will still post after this, but this will be my last time in the luxury of a cyber cafe where the power can cut at any second. (it's really helped with the efficiency of my typing)

*I would also like to note we are currently listening to Celine Dion on the radio* haha! When I first came to Kenya, my bff Leslie was shocked we didn't all talk like Celine Dion... *sigh* memories. I really hope I don't come back home as one of those people who travel just so they can go home and say "In Kenya this" and "in Kenya that" (shudders).

ANYWAYS, I know my posts have been a bit heavy lately since I'm leaving soon and getting all philosophical and stuff. But today, I'd like to keep it short and sweet and share with you a few things I've learnt in the past few days:

1. Never ever over-estimate a Kenyan man's alcohol tolerance. (the photos below were from last night when Willis, our body guard, took us clubbing and assured us a few shots were not going to affect him. NOT TRUE. haha fun times)

2. When taking a bus across country, ALWAYS ALWAYS request a seat in the front. My butt is still bruised from the bumpy ride :(

3. There is a HUGE difference between the word Matoke and Mataco. One is a specialty Ugandan dish. The other means butthole.

4. Don't eat cupcakes in your bathing suit. crumbs.

5. If you want to order shots, you should really call them "tots". Saying "I want a shot" apparently means you want a prostitute.

There's alot of story telling to do once I get home :)

Busy little bees

Jambo :)

Boy, the past 24 hours have been eventful! We've been travelling again, from upcountry to Nairobi. I'm sad to say it was my last time seeing Rift valley, the tea plantations, Mau forest and Nakuru, among tons of other amazing things. *sigh*


Although it was a long journey with Mama, we decided to skip resting. (it's not her style). Mama Pheobe Asiyo is part of Nairobi's Women's Caucus, which we've visited in our last excursion here. She's also the UN's UNIFEM representative in Kenya. I'm really grateful to have her as a host mother, especially since I've seen first hand how important it is to push the women's agenda here and around the world.

Anyways, the Women's Caucus has representatives in every region in the country. These are just local women who are concerned with the development of their community. Pretty much any positive initiative a woman is interested in, the Caucus will back.

That's what brings us to Huruma today, in a slum called Madoya. In this area, lives Mama Lucy, a women who runs an orphanage/school called Little Bees.

For more than a decade this one woman has been running this school in the middle of the slum. Did I mention she also lives there with the kids? She is truly extraordinary and deserves the admiration of all who know her.

At Little Bees, she also runs other initiatives such as basket weaving classes and farming on her small plot in order to provide a holistic learning environment as well as an opportunity to generate some money. There are also flush toilets and clean shower areas available to the community for a small price.

Even though Mama Lucy has done alot for her community, there is still work to be done. The fact that she provides the only available flush toilets and running water in Madoya (which is huge by the way), speaks for itself. Through the slum walkways are streams of disease-infested water. The infrastucture is just the start, but with Mama Lucy and other development-conscious women in the area, I know the Little Bees will continue to do great things.

I know your heart's weathered by what studs did to you...

Hey guys!

As my time in Kenya comes to an end, I'm taking sometime to reflect on things I will take with me when I go home. *inspired by Larissa's blog assignment* I'm glad to say I've got to experience ALOT while I was here. I've literally been from Lake Victoria to the coast and then back again. Being away from my host home to experience Kenya and then to come back has really given me more insight about the opportunities available in this country.

One thing has always struck me whereever I am in this country: a woman's struggle. It's in the city when a woman has cares for someone else's child in order to support her own. It's in the village when a mother is infected with HIV because her late husband was unfaithful but still has hope since her children tested negative. Even now when I'm in a situation where I feel my own limitations being challenged, the stories of these women, of widows, of mothers who have seen their children parish or lead a street life, of women who are punished for being infertile, of rape victims and victims of female circumcision come flooding back into my mind. It's the image of a strong African women who looks at me with an unflinching gaze when she tells me she has come to terms with the fact that she has done all she can with her life, that she only lives now with the hope her children can do better.

It is this determination, this unrelenting drive of all the women I've met here that inspires me and will continue to remain fresh in my mind. Though I've rejoiced at the strength and fearlessness of these women, I am also reminded of the pain this hard exterior is drawn from. Since many of the tribal religions in Kenya have participated in polygamy, women are continually cheated on. Even though the majority of people have switched over to sects of christianity or catholicism, men use the polygamous values of the forefathers to excuse their cheating. From this, women who stay faithful to their husbands become infected by HIV/AIDS. Even if a women knows her husband is having sex with other women, to suggest the use of a condom can lead to domestic abuse and many times the wife will be forced to have sex with her husband.

Because of the extreme poverty in the village, young girls from the highschool are seduced by older, married men with simple treats in exchange for sex. These young girls end up infected or with child or both. The men flee, leaving a single mother behind. I see parallels between the teenage pregnancies here and in Jane-Finch. Both communities are filled with women who distrust men (with good reason). But they also don't expect anything more. And that's what kills me the most. The perpetual cycle of boys being raised by women who naturalize the idea of the man being irresponsible.

Through it all, I will always hear the whispers of countless women at the back of my mind, willing me to take every opportunity I have, advising me not to make a mockery of my circumstance. Dozens of women telling me to remember them when I succeed because there is no reason why I shouldn't. All the while, I am humbled because I think, it could be me. It could be me nursing a child, without promise of food the next day. It is only because of my dumb luck that I was born on the other side of the world, where I experience privileges without having to earn them. I'm thankful the women have opened up to me while I was here and I want to come back to Toronto and optimize every chance I'm given because I know these women would find a way to do it if they were in my position.

With that said, I'll see you soon ;)

Umoja: calling for unity

Today we decided to hit up Kibera for a tailor. Kibera is said to be the largest shanty town in Sub-Saharan Africa. This area is almost home to some of the best tailors ever so we took our chances. Plus, our driver Joshua lives there, so we were relatively safe. I was even able to get a few pictures in!

This is me putting my mother's sewing lessons into practice :) *hi mom*

Since the post election violence in Kenya last year, Kibera has been divided by tribes. The area we were in was mainly inhabited by Luos. Joshua tells me they are trying to integrate more and put the past in the past. However, with tensions already beginning to mount for the next elections in 2012, its tricky. On the way back from the tailors, we noticed that a long concrete wall the creates a border for the slum. It was covered in murals and messages by Kibera inhabitants. Here's a little taste:

Story time! to change or not to change? Part 2

Hey Guys :) I know it seems like I've been lacking in posts (sorry Scott) but the last 2 weeks were super hectic! Both primary and secondary schools have closed for August break now and I've left upcountry to join Mayan in Nairobi. He came a few days before me... I stayed back a little bit for closure. Yeah I know what you're thinking, "Since when is Maggie sentimental?" hahaha it happens! I'm happy I took the extra time to ease myself out though. I didn't want to leave with any open wounds. There was no crying or anything, I prepped myself to be cool and composed *as always* :)

Anyways, the purpose of this post begins with a story about my childhood my mom always tells me, and that I'm constantly reminded of when I'm here.

Both of my parents are refugees and because of our very humble background our home needed a double income. Because of this, I was enrolled in daycare right when I was potty trained at age 2. Now, being the first generation born in Canada is hard enough. Since I was introduced to daycare at such an early age, it was hard for me to pick up Cantonese. I don't really have the accents down right so my parents speak to me in their mother tongue and I reply in English. That's our system. It should not be tampered with. haha

When I was about 7 and making my weekly visit to the grandparents', they were criticizing my mom because I spoke in English. My mother, who was also feeling the pressure to embrace both cultures, told my grandmother boldly "my daughter knows how to speak Cantonese". She turned to me and said "You know how to speak your language so do it". After several minutes of coercion from my family members, I was resolved. I decided to stop speaking entirely for 3 days. (which is an eternity for a small child)

The reason why I'm reminded of this story is because I've always insisted on doing things my way, in my own time. One of my biggest challenges here has been sharing my experience with Mayan. He's great, don't get me wrong, but living with him has taught me that sometimes you need to compromise some of your own wants in order to make way for stronger friendships. It seems obvious right?

The truth is, the lifestyle I live at home is a selfish one and I'm not afraid to admit it. Many of my relationships have not endured the ups and downs me and Mayan have had because if I feel like disconnecting and doing my own thing for a week, I can. And I do. But when I'm living with someone who has a general idea of what I'm doing at all times it can make me defensive and at times, hostile.

This is just part of my personal growth here and I am in no way used to living with someone, even though the summer is almost past. Sometimes we hate each other, but it can't stop us from being together because no matter how much I resist (and its mostly me), we need to rely on each other. And its the idea of showing vulnerability that I hate most, not Mayan. The other day I was getting really frustrated and short with him and he kinda told me off haha. It took all my strength to say sorry. Apologizing is such a simple gesture but its been hard for me all summer because I felt like I was the one having their space invaded. But I've learnt to put things in context and realized that it's not his fault for not knowing when I want to be left alone and when I'm ready to make myself available. Vice versa.

When I exit the home, I'm ready for the world and all the socializing. It's been the moments in the home, in my safe space, that I've found it hardest to make adjustments.

I'm working on it though ;)

Fort Jesus

Hi! I miss you! Okay, so you heard what we do with our nights but we also do things in the day too. Albeit half drunk still but we are maximizing on our time here!

Yesterday we headed to Fort Jesus. One of the first slave trade hubs in East Africa. This fort is also significant because it brought over Christianity. I love it when we visit places like this with a local to tell us the history because it just reminds me of how resilient the nation is. Since mombasa is on the coast, the town has a heavy Arabic influence.

It has a high Muslim population and we went on a Friday so it was less congested and I really like the laid back atmosphere. We walked around and did some shopping as well. A nice, easy afternoon :)

I love this picture because of the little boys playing soccer :)

Oh and CAMELS on the beach! fun! *except for all the beach boys hoovering around them waiting for me to become their sugar mama* They can get pretty aggressive. They seriously got things twisted hahaha! I don't know what makes them think I'm about to pay THEM. the nerve.

The last message is some graffiti I saw near Fort Jesus. I like :)

Talk to you soon,

xoxo

Gossip Girl.

My girl likes to partying all the time...

Salaam!

So, travelling with one dude has its perks, but many of the times me and Mayan are looking to make friends. Frankly, we get tired of looking at each other's faces while sitting idly. So, we knew when we were planning for Mombasa we would pull out all the stops to meet new people! (I am, by the way, THE best wing man EVER. PERIOD.)

So, on our first night we took our girl Sheila's recommendation and hit up Bob's, an outdoor bar/club place and met a few archaeology students taking a break from digging up the desert in the North. Kenya, by the way, is often referred to the cradle of life. GOD I love this place! Anyways we ended up partying with them and ended up at their villa! (which was kinda set up like real world. WEIRD.)

The thing that messes me up about Kenya is that the clubs close whenever the last person leaves. So you can imagine how EXHAUSTED I was the next day *damn you Safari and Kenya cane!* I was also burnt out because I'm soft and we hadn't had that kind of excitement in a LONG time. Needless to say we took it to another level... Toronto Style ;)

I was feeling disgusting last night but said, "what the heck, let's do it again". This time we hit up Tembo, also recommneded by Sheila, our girl from Philly :) *She's papa's granddaughter*

Mayan and I pretty much just matatu it everywhere... though its not very safe at night. Whatever. I'm young and invincible. A taxi to Tembo was 300 Ksh. a Matatu is 20 ksh. HUGE difference when you'd rather spend the money on alcohol. Larissa: I promise i'm not a lush. I kinda like the vibe too! The one we were in last night had reggae pumping and black lights haha! I felt like I was in a moving strip club! always a good, settling feeling. You can't see the lights in the picture, but you get the deal :)

Back to my review of Tembo:

If you want to get hustled out of using the washroom by prostitutes, Tembo is the place to be! FULL of working women and beach boys I think as well. but over all, it was fun! *it would have been better if my bladder wasn't about to burst everytime I moved :(

The old guy was totally patting my butt.

Tonight, we're gonna play it safe and stay in since we leave tomorrow. Don't quote me on that though haha :)

Its gonna take a lot to drag me away from you...

I've had Toto's Africa in my head all summer! *partly due to the song dedications I got before I left :P (I secretly enjoy that song)

I'm in Mombasa right now taking a break from soaking in the indian ocean *swoon* this place is beyond beautiful!

We've done alot since we arrive, though we're only spending 4 nights here so let me start by telling a little bit about the crocodile farm we went to. Mamba village is the biggest crocodile farm in East Africa so we saw hundreds and maybe thousands of crocodiles of all sizes! It's kinda weird though... because on one hand the guide was giving us a tour and telling us about the nature of these animals and on the other, he was showing us where the skinning for export takes place and asked whether or not we wanted to eat some crocs. We said yes. Don't hate. haha! it really did tastes like fish flavored chicken. There was a botannical garden and other animals there too! The picture above is of an albino crocodile amongst other baby crocodiles :)

Here are some pictures:

Me holding a baby croc

me holding a small python

Croc feeding time

Brown bear feeding time